Big fat wombat

Hi!

I know. You look at me with those hurt eyes. I've been staying away for longer and longer, going weeks at a time, and I never gave a call at all. I'm sorry. Forgive me? It's not you, it's me. And school. College is keeping us physically apart, but you're always in my heart.

Okay. Obligatory apology over.

I think I said this before, but I'm not going to be very regular. School really is eating up all my time. I was cast as the lead female in the college's production of Cabaret, so choreography and lines and songs are devouring my brain like a wombat with a slice of salami. Pretty soon, I will become the wombat.

And that's okay. Because wombats are cute. Have you ever seen one? Go Google one right now. I'll be here when you get back.

not an accurate portrayal of the true preciousness

There's nothing really important to update about. WonderCairn is ever-fluffy, Pie is ever-sexy, and I am ever-boring.

So I thought I might tell you a tale from when I was a young, adorable, and despicably stupid child. I'm writing it out right now. I'll post it soon, probably this weekend or next. In the mean time, I guess you can get your ordinary awesome fix via my twitter.

The calm before the storm

     So hey.  It's been a while, right?  It feels like it's been months since I've been here.

     School started up the 18th and I've been nonstop running since it did.  I'm there from 10am-10pm, and it's a 30 minute drive, so I don't have any time at home save for a shower, a breakfast protein shake, and a microwave dinner.

     Remember how I was all bitchy because Domino's called me to ask if I'd made a mistake?  Turns out they really want me to make pizzas.  They are working around my schedule!  After orientation, I get to spend my weekends making pizzas for lazy fat bastards with attitudes.  I don't care, of course, because I'll be getting paid.  I also get 50% off. I'm going to eat so much goddamn cheesy bread.  It's a very good thing I'm taking two PE classes this semester.
     This also means I'm moving closer to my ultimate goal!  Which, of course, is to GTFO of Texas and rejoin my darling Pie in Arizona.
     Not that I despise Texas.  I'm rather fond of it, having lived here my entire life and no where else.  I just hate the humidity.  You need a snorkel to go outside.  Our record consecutive days WITHOUT rain is, like, two.  Actually, I think it's 45, but with how much water is in the air, I'm pretty sure my answer is more valid.
     You see, I got a taste of the closest thing to perfection, as far as weather goes, in Arizona and I'm hungry for more.  There was heat, but no humidity.  My hair didn't turn into a puff ball!
     When it "rained" over there, it was a light sprinkle in comparison to TX.  I actually told Pie's sister, "If you can't swim in it, it's not rain."

     So this is new territory.  I've never worked in the food industry before.  But I LIKE monotony and repetition.  I do my best work when I'm doing the same thing over and over again.  My favorite job was a temp job where I filed papers and folded 2,000 Christmas cards.  It's not much money, but anything is more than I had before.

     Auditions for Cabaret have been going on this week.  It's been explosively fun.  I've had so much fun on that stage, dancing the same routine over and over again and make up shitty choreography.  Walk this way.  Dance back and forth.  Look provocatively at a guy's crotch.  Giggle.  Dance some more.
     I'm really gunning for the lead, because this will be my first real performance (outside of "We Love Jesus Yay Christmas Let's Sing Old Songs" church plays).  I don't know if I'll get the lead, but I really hope I do.  I'll be happy to be on stage if I get there, no matter the part.
     Get this:  One of the other campuses is doing "Evil Dead The Musical," and I'm so fucking jealous.

     My body is completely sore.  I had weight training this week, and kickboxing starts next week (yay for pink gloves!).  I told Pie that I was going to have some damn sexy legs when this is over.  My legs, pardon my conceit a moment, are pretty much sexy already.  When this is done, they're going to be model worthy.  This is a good thing, because my Pie is a leg-loving man. <3

     I spent the last week or so knitting.  I made a hat for Pie's old best friend from high school, I made a baby hat and matching jacket for a family friend, and I also made a Cthulhu hat for one of my friends as an early/late birthday present.  I have just gotten halfway done with ANOTHER hat, which will have a series of hearts in a row in different colors.  THAT.  IS.  A.  PAIN.  It's probably going to be the most beautiful hat I've ever knit, but it's UNGODLY complicated in a way that makes baby heart surgery look like a 2-piece puzzle.

evil plotting

     So far, it's been pretty ordinary.  No real adventures this week.  I've been pretty stationary.  I feel like things are about to really take off, like I'm in a state of ease and relaxation.  Once the year really starts rolling, I'm going to be completely swamped.
     I'm gonna have to start writing up old adventures, because I'm nothing but ordinary lately, aren't I?  I'm pretty boring.  Sorry.

     But hey!  Here's a story to look forward to in the weeks to come:  Vagina-shaped cookies with cream-filling.  Yes.  This is happening.  And it's for school.  I'm not shitting you.  It's happening.  So stay tuned.

Jamming to Disney and Wasting Days

     A very boring post this time.  Just an update of the current things I'm fixated on, since I haven't posted in a while.  Oh, I pierced my ears!  Read on for those simple details and a pretty little photo.

     I decided to make a playlist for when I take a shower.  When I realized how many Disney songs were going into it, I decided to make two playlists...  "Shower" and "Shower Disney."  It's a small list, including gems from Megara, Mulan, and some big staples of the company like A Whole New World.  I don't know the song, and I will admit... I might have been really jealous and sad, because when I introduced Pie to a friend of mine early on in our first weeks of dating, they both started singing it and I felt totally left out.

     Speaking of our first weeks of dating...  Those first weeks of dating are officially a year over.  Our one year anniversary was about a week ago.  I was really disappointed because I wasn't with him on the day.  We did have a very long and lovely phone conversation.  I also marked the occasion by piercing my body.
     Kinda.
     I decided, a little sporadically for me, to get second holes pierced on my ear lobes.  Then, to make it special, I chose Pie's birthstone emerald.  I was stupidly giddy when I got them done and I couldn't wait to tell him.  I was surprised there was no pain.  They look amazing, too.  I coupled them with a set in my first holes that are MY birthstone, peridot, and the two colors are a gorgeous combo.
     I usually take more time in making these decisions.  I'm not a sporadic person.  But this was just biting at me all day, and I had to give in.

even after this, he still hasn't changed his relationship

status to ME instead of a joke page for a bird

     Well, as far as my tablet goes...  I think about a bajillion and a half trojans (or maybe just seven) may have done a lot of severe damage.  I'm going to have to mail the thing to Pie so he can fix it.  So it seems I'm out of luck as far as that goes.

we used to be so happy :(

     Pie did happen to remind me, however, that I have a gigantic HP TouchSmart.  Not that I forgot, I just needed to make space for it and pull it out of my almost-move boxes and things.  I can draw on the screen with my fingers.  It's a little tricky, so I use a soft tipped marker (capped!!).  I'm practicing, but it's all really subpar in comparison to what I achieved with my tablet.  I miss my little tablet...  I decided to try drawing myself, and for a reason unknown to myself, I decided I needed to be a bulbasaur.

okay, I would be a adorable pokemon

     It's okay for my third attempt.  I probably won't be able to do anything quite as big and grand as before, but I'll keep playing with it.

     School starts in exactly one week.  Next Tuesday, my incredibly full schedule begins.  I have 6 classes, totally 12 credit hours.  There are 3 drama classes, then kick-boxing, weight training, and human sexuality.

     I'm also considering trying out for the musical the drama dept is putting on.  I have to sing something from a Broadway show... so I'm considering I Just Can't Wait To Be King from the Broadway version of The Lion King.  I think that would be so freaking awesome.  It's either that or Fine Fine Line from Avenue Q.  Singing in public makes me nervous.  I think I sing okay, but I really need vocal lessons.

     I also spent a few hours creating my own ringtones for my iPhone with Audacity and iTunes.  I forgot how relatively easy it is to do.  Currently, my default is Megara singing her denial concerning being in love for Hercules.  Could there be a reason?  ;D
     Now I need to start selecting individual songs for my contacts.

     Lastly, I've been playing a lot of Kingdom Hearts.  I mean, I'm not too far, but I'm enjoying it.  I've got Tarzan running around with me now.  The game has inspired me to sew a Paopu Fruit pillow for a very special person.  Now I just need my stupid little sewing machine to work, or miraculously my giant sewing machine could start working again on it's own without me throwing money I don't have into it...  Sad face.  I'm certain this pillow is going to be adorable when finished.

Memory: The Nightmare Man

     I originally intended to post this on 1/1/11...  I'm not satisfied with being unable to properly illustrate the way I wanted to.  You'll just have to deal with my shitty little pencil+paper boxes until Pie can fix my laptop.  But hey!  I offer you 3 pictures as a peace offering!

__________________
     This has been on my mind for a couple of days now.  I looked over at the yard beside my family's house and I remembered something I haven't thought of in years.  It's creepy and true.

     When I was a little girl, the neighbor's daughter was my best friend.  They had a long stretch of property, and I often walked through their horse field to go see my friend.  Near to my house, there was a medium sized wooden hut.  It wasn't too tall or anything, but it seemed looming and foreboding when I was in my single digits.
     I didn't know what they kept in there.  It was in the middle of the property, no where near their horse barn or house.  Just in the middle of the property, standing like a horror movie scene waiting to happen.  It was made of old, dark wood almost black from the years.  The trees that grew around it cast shadows on it that only served to frighten me even more.  I just KNEW there was a creepy man living in there, with some kind of mutilated appearance, sharpening tools like scythes and hoes and anything that he could use against me.

I rocked those lavender overalls

     I never looked at it when I crossed the field.  If I did, I knew the scary nightmare man inside would become enraged and chase me down.  I only looked at it when I stood outside my house's door, so that if he tried to get me I could always run inside and lock the door.  Sometimes I would see shadows moving inside the mildewed 4-panel window.  Realistically, I now believe it must have been shade from trees when a breeze passed through.  However, my little self was convinced that the nightmare man was inside his little hut, sharpening metal to prepare for the day I finally looked at the hut when I crossed the field.

FUCK THAT HUT

     One night, a bad storm came through.  There was a horrible noise in the middle of the night, the whine of nails being ripped from wood.  To my child's mind, the nightmare man had caught some other child.  I was frightened, but I didn't dare look out the window.  If he was attacking, surely he would feel bold enough to come to my house if I dared catch him in the act.  I hid my head under my Rainbow Brite pillow and pulled the sheets over the pillow.  That way, if he pulled back the covers, he would see the pillow and think I wasn't there. I was a genius five year old.
     The next morning when I looked at the field, I could see that the hut had fallen over.  It was crumpled into a pile of disgusting brown-black boards.  I wasn't relieved of my fears, though.  It was obvious to me what had happened:  The nightmare man had taken a victim in the storm, and then destroyed the hut to hide the evidence.  Now I didn't know where the nightmare man was when I crossed the field.  If he wasn't in the hut, he could be anywhere!
     I stopped crossing the field, reducing that friendship to phone calls or having her come over instead.  Our friendship eventually dissipated, and her family moved away.  I forgot why exactly I was scared of the field as I grew older, but I knew I was afraid of it.  Sometimes my family's horses would jump the fence and get into that field, and I would have to chase them down.  I was uneasy, but I wasn't sure why.

     This last year, one of our horses got out of our pasture.  We later found out she had been picked up by the sheriff, but for a few hours we were clueless.  Feeling rather brave during this period, I decided I would go to the back of our property and see if she had jumped the fence.  The property directly behind ours has been seemingly abandoned for years by whoever bought it, so I had a lot of overgrowth to push through.  There were horse tracks, so I followed until they faded.  After a few minutes, I had an uneasy feeling, but I couldn't place it or understand why I felt like I did.
     I walked around, noticing nothing more than wild dog prints in the mud.  There were no more hoof prints, so I turned to leave.  I followed the footsteps I'd left in the mud, but I soon realized this was not the way I had originally come.  These were not my footprints.

     The moment I realized I was following someone else's footprints, I came across a small little campsite.  Old, dark, dirty brown wood was haphazardly stacked up to about half my height, covered with rusty sheet metal.  There were gardening tools sitting by the little shelter.  All at once, I remembered everything.  Why I hated that other field.  Why I was scared to cross.   I had forgotten entirely about the nightmare man and his hut of horrors, but it was all back now.
     My adult mind rationalized that this was just the makeshift home of a wandering hobo.
     The child inside of me screamed, "IT'S THE NIGHTMARE MAN!  THIS IS WHERE HE WENT WHEN HE DESTROYED HIS HUT!"

He's fucking back, I swear to God

     I could rationally see that the footprints must have been a few days old, certainly not fresh.  This evidence for some strange person hiding and living in the overgrown field behind our property sent adrenaline pumping through my legs.  Very quickly, feeling like I was being watched with no evidence for it, I fast-walked opposite the direction the footprints came and left from.
     I ended up bursting from the overgrowth onto a street that ran parallel to my family's house.  When I returned to the house, I forgot about the creepy campsite and the nightmare man when I was reminded that the horse was why I went out the first place.  It was then that I was informed that the sheriff had picked her up. and I had the task of calling Pie (who was out driving around looking for her) and letting him know the search was called off.  I totally forgot about that whole expedition until just today.

     You see...  Last Thursday morning, I noticed that there was a small pile of branches and sticks gathered over on the property next door, near the tree that the hut used to stand by.  A church has owned the property for a few years now, and they've been clearing the yard.  It was that pile which reminded me of the story, of how something used to be there many years ago.  It's been on my mind since Thursday, and I figured I ought to share.  I never went back there.  I'm afraid to.

OH NOES; A pseudo-update

     So this sucks.  I had just finished writing a new blog post (something creepy) and my computer decided it was too sick to let me draw anything to go with it.  OF COURSE the damn thing has to get temperamental now that Pie, the computer science student genius and repairer of shit I've fucked up, is literally over a thousand miles away from me.  Exactly 1,172 miles, thank you Google.  I'm now absolutely certain that computers can throw up.  With all the errors popping up and the different programs springing into action in answer to it's death cry, without a doubt I know my computer threw up all over itself.
     Pie is gonna try to remote fix it tomorrow later today.  For now, I'm reduced to using my netbook.

     I guess I'll just save my creepy story in draft until my tablet is fixed and I can draw on it again.  I NEED to be able to properly illustrate some of the images to go along with the post.  If Pie were still here (because I'm a total coward and I'm never going back into the woods behind this house alone again), I would go out and see if the little place is still there and take a picture.  That is, if the nightmare man wandering hobo isn't there.

     Since I'm completely unprepared for this, here's a quick doodle I did on pen and paper.  I miss Pie.  I'll be heading to bed shortly, with awesome dog right behind.  Wondercairn has been stuck to me like glue since I got back into town.  I was only gone for a month but she acts like I was gone for years.  I imagine that's a longer time in dog years.

So place the Don't Disturb sign on the door

     I'm going to be honest.  I'm not really up to writing an in depth post today.  So I'll give a fast run down of my return to Texas.

     The last few days in Arizona were relaxing.  I did more painting.  To thank me, Pie's mom bought me pink Converses with matching socks.  I stuffed my bags and we headed to the airport.  The two of them bogged me down with information until I couldn't think straight.  We hugged.  I cried so much.  Pie kissed me a couple of times and we parted at the security line.
     At airport security, I didn't realize I had my laptop with me.  I never travel with it.  So they took my bag apart and ran everything through again.  The line was held up and people were glaring at me, so I pretended to find something interesting out a window.  Then they swabbed my hands before they'd let me go through.
     I sat at the gate, then got switched to a different gate.  I cried for a good portion of the time spent at each gate.  Flight attendants were 20 minutes late.  I ended up texting Pie's mother, and my iPhone's autocorrect changed my misspelling of Las Vegas to "Las Vaginas."  I was mortified.  They howled in laughter.  They aren't going to let me live that down.
     A guy sitting beside me made a joke about the plane crashing and that wasn't cool.  Then a "Gregory House" was paged to a courtesy phone.  That made me smile.
     The flight was incredibly rough, as I was flying out of rain and into thunderstorms.  I enjoyed my iPod and read Pride and Prejudice for the flight.  I was nervous at first, until I realized the guy a seat over from me was a pilot and he was really relaxed.  That relaxed me.
     We landed at five minutes past midnight.  Dad picked me up about twenty minutes later.  Stayed up until 5am unpacking and cleaning.  When I say unpacking, I mean that I had about fifteen boxes from a previous almost-move a month ago.  I cried myself to sleep because I'm a big freaking baby, but I had my awesome dog beside me the whole night and that was comforting.

     Today has been a busy blur.  There was more to unpack.  That's all I've done.  I'm really quite miserable and pitiable, though, so please excuse my non-awesome adventure.  Today is very ordinary, but not very awesome.

     Because I'm not feeling creative, here's a picture Pie's mother sent to me.  It's me asleep on Christmas day.  My art was pretty close.

     To make up for my lame sad self not drawing anything, here's a second picture of me painting a bathtub.

Lunch with friend! And the engagement according to Pie...

     I dragged Pie and his sister out today because this may be one of my few opportunities to see a friend of mine.  He moved from Texas to Arizona, and he was about 20 minutes away from us.  We met at a BJ's Brewery and shared a giant pizookie, which none of us could finish.  It was gloriously humongous, and so painfully delicious.  The kind of painfully delicious in which you are stuffed full and you know better than to take another bite, but the memory of your last bite makes your mouth water with ultimate desire, thus you have no other choice but to thrust your spoon back into the ice cream and cookie concoction and pray that merciful God above spares you from the agonizing torture of a ruptured stomach.

     IT WAS THAT GOOD.

     There's not much to report on this day.  It was overall pretty boring, except for the awesome lunch with my dear friend.  I didn't realize how much I missed him until I was hugging his neck.  He's a great guy, one of the few honest people I know in the world.

     However...  I do have an update that I have to give, concerning my ideal engagement...  See, Boyfriend has decided to read my blog.  He likes the pictures, and I guess he likes my commentary, too.  Mental, that one.  So he reads about the engagement, and sees the pictures, and falls into laughter on the pull out couch.  He then tells me a story...

     Paraphrasing, of course, and omitting a lot of his descriptive sounds, including swooshes, fire krrrrrshhhh noises, and explody brrhhhhhmmmmm noises, and such...  This is how he has decided to propose, should he ever have the money to fund such an excursion:

     He is going to have several of his friends kidnap me, one day.  Bag over the head, thrown into a car, the whole scary deal.  I'm hoping these are friends I know, or else I'm going to probably piss myself and cry a lot.  He will then have them drag me onto an old boat, which he will rent, and they will tie me to the mast.
     Pie will then, after having taken skydiving lessons for months, carefully and precisely land on the boat at the perfect moment.  He will rip off the sky diving suit to reveal a jedi costume, and with his sleight of hand will release doves into the air.
     A big burly pirate will appear, with a boom mike but it's hidden by his big burly beard, and he'll speak and it will be all deep and menacing.  Pie will pull out a sword, and he will sword fight with the pirate guy while epic music booms from hidden speakers.  Sparks will start flying, and then he lands the killing blow.  The pirate will fall to his knees and cry, "Y'argh, ye got me!"  Then he will perish.
     Pie will then use the sword to cut me free, and then grab a hanging rope, clutch me tightly, and swing out over the water.  We will then drop into the water, where a submarine will pick us up.  We'll climb in and go on an underwater sea adventure.
     As we dive down into these tunnels and caverns, we'll see all kinds of underwater creatures, like sea snails and cucumbers.  Then the submarine captain will start yelling that we're taking on water, and lights and sounds will start going off.  Pie will be like, "Aren't you the pirate captain I just killed?" and the captain will be like, "No, but I speak with the same accent."  So we throw on scuba gear and we somehow swim out into the water.
     Somehow we end up in this cave, and there's this pedestal at the end of the cave.  When Pie takes off his gear, he's suddenly dressed like Indiana Jones, and he has a whip and an awesome hat.  There's this giant ring on the pedestal, and as we approach the pedestal, fire starts blazing around in a circle around us, including this inner ring of green fire.  From the green fire comes a demon!  It's the Tim Curry Darkness demon!  He wraps his tail around me and says, "You will have to fight me for her!"
     Pie then takes out a lightsaber, but it turns out it fits around his hand.  He puts it on and it turns him into Green Lantern.  So he beats up the Tim Curry Darkness monster and saves me.  He then goes to the pedestal and tries to exchange the ring for a bag of sand, but the pedestal is a trigger for a trap.  A great big boulder starts rumbling towards us.
     Pie turns to me and says, "Girlfriend?"
     I say in reply, "Yeah?"
     Pie responds, "I think it's time to run!!"
     So then we run down a tunnel, and the boulder chases us, but we get to the end of the tunnel and jump through a sheet of water.  We jump through a waterfall, only to find that it's Niagara Falls.  The Maid of the Mist (google it) picks us up, and suddenly Pie has rocket boots.  He flies back to the tunnel dressed as Iron Man, retrieves the giant diamond ring, and flies back to me.  His face mask disappears and he reveals that the ring is sensitive to light, so it shrinks to normal size.  He takes my hand, puts the ring on my finger, and says, "Will you marry me?"
     Then fireworks will start going off all over the place, and it's suddenly night time so they're all over the sky.  And the people on the skip start cheering and we have a huge party.

     I had to ask, at this point...  "So what do I say?"

     "You say FUCK YEAH!"


     Never in the history of the world has anyone been this excited about a potential engagement.