So place the Don't Disturb sign on the door

     I'm going to be honest.  I'm not really up to writing an in depth post today.  So I'll give a fast run down of my return to Texas.

     The last few days in Arizona were relaxing.  I did more painting.  To thank me, Pie's mom bought me pink Converses with matching socks.  I stuffed my bags and we headed to the airport.  The two of them bogged me down with information until I couldn't think straight.  We hugged.  I cried so much.  Pie kissed me a couple of times and we parted at the security line.
     At airport security, I didn't realize I had my laptop with me.  I never travel with it.  So they took my bag apart and ran everything through again.  The line was held up and people were glaring at me, so I pretended to find something interesting out a window.  Then they swabbed my hands before they'd let me go through.
     I sat at the gate, then got switched to a different gate.  I cried for a good portion of the time spent at each gate.  Flight attendants were 20 minutes late.  I ended up texting Pie's mother, and my iPhone's autocorrect changed my misspelling of Las Vegas to "Las Vaginas."  I was mortified.  They howled in laughter.  They aren't going to let me live that down.
     A guy sitting beside me made a joke about the plane crashing and that wasn't cool.  Then a "Gregory House" was paged to a courtesy phone.  That made me smile.
     The flight was incredibly rough, as I was flying out of rain and into thunderstorms.  I enjoyed my iPod and read Pride and Prejudice for the flight.  I was nervous at first, until I realized the guy a seat over from me was a pilot and he was really relaxed.  That relaxed me.
     We landed at five minutes past midnight.  Dad picked me up about twenty minutes later.  Stayed up until 5am unpacking and cleaning.  When I say unpacking, I mean that I had about fifteen boxes from a previous almost-move a month ago.  I cried myself to sleep because I'm a big freaking baby, but I had my awesome dog beside me the whole night and that was comforting.

     Today has been a busy blur.  There was more to unpack.  That's all I've done.  I'm really quite miserable and pitiable, though, so please excuse my non-awesome adventure.  Today is very ordinary, but not very awesome.

     Because I'm not feeling creative, here's a picture Pie's mother sent to me.  It's me asleep on Christmas day.  My art was pretty close.

     To make up for my lame sad self not drawing anything, here's a second picture of me painting a bathtub.

Lunch with friend! And the engagement according to Pie...

     I dragged Pie and his sister out today because this may be one of my few opportunities to see a friend of mine.  He moved from Texas to Arizona, and he was about 20 minutes away from us.  We met at a BJ's Brewery and shared a giant pizookie, which none of us could finish.  It was gloriously humongous, and so painfully delicious.  The kind of painfully delicious in which you are stuffed full and you know better than to take another bite, but the memory of your last bite makes your mouth water with ultimate desire, thus you have no other choice but to thrust your spoon back into the ice cream and cookie concoction and pray that merciful God above spares you from the agonizing torture of a ruptured stomach.

     IT WAS THAT GOOD.

     There's not much to report on this day.  It was overall pretty boring, except for the awesome lunch with my dear friend.  I didn't realize how much I missed him until I was hugging his neck.  He's a great guy, one of the few honest people I know in the world.

     However...  I do have an update that I have to give, concerning my ideal engagement...  See, Boyfriend has decided to read my blog.  He likes the pictures, and I guess he likes my commentary, too.  Mental, that one.  So he reads about the engagement, and sees the pictures, and falls into laughter on the pull out couch.  He then tells me a story...

     Paraphrasing, of course, and omitting a lot of his descriptive sounds, including swooshes, fire krrrrrshhhh noises, and explody brrhhhhhmmmmm noises, and such...  This is how he has decided to propose, should he ever have the money to fund such an excursion:

     He is going to have several of his friends kidnap me, one day.  Bag over the head, thrown into a car, the whole scary deal.  I'm hoping these are friends I know, or else I'm going to probably piss myself and cry a lot.  He will then have them drag me onto an old boat, which he will rent, and they will tie me to the mast.
     Pie will then, after having taken skydiving lessons for months, carefully and precisely land on the boat at the perfect moment.  He will rip off the sky diving suit to reveal a jedi costume, and with his sleight of hand will release doves into the air.
     A big burly pirate will appear, with a boom mike but it's hidden by his big burly beard, and he'll speak and it will be all deep and menacing.  Pie will pull out a sword, and he will sword fight with the pirate guy while epic music booms from hidden speakers.  Sparks will start flying, and then he lands the killing blow.  The pirate will fall to his knees and cry, "Y'argh, ye got me!"  Then he will perish.
     Pie will then use the sword to cut me free, and then grab a hanging rope, clutch me tightly, and swing out over the water.  We will then drop into the water, where a submarine will pick us up.  We'll climb in and go on an underwater sea adventure.
     As we dive down into these tunnels and caverns, we'll see all kinds of underwater creatures, like sea snails and cucumbers.  Then the submarine captain will start yelling that we're taking on water, and lights and sounds will start going off.  Pie will be like, "Aren't you the pirate captain I just killed?" and the captain will be like, "No, but I speak with the same accent."  So we throw on scuba gear and we somehow swim out into the water.
     Somehow we end up in this cave, and there's this pedestal at the end of the cave.  When Pie takes off his gear, he's suddenly dressed like Indiana Jones, and he has a whip and an awesome hat.  There's this giant ring on the pedestal, and as we approach the pedestal, fire starts blazing around in a circle around us, including this inner ring of green fire.  From the green fire comes a demon!  It's the Tim Curry Darkness demon!  He wraps his tail around me and says, "You will have to fight me for her!"
     Pie then takes out a lightsaber, but it turns out it fits around his hand.  He puts it on and it turns him into Green Lantern.  So he beats up the Tim Curry Darkness monster and saves me.  He then goes to the pedestal and tries to exchange the ring for a bag of sand, but the pedestal is a trigger for a trap.  A great big boulder starts rumbling towards us.
     Pie turns to me and says, "Girlfriend?"
     I say in reply, "Yeah?"
     Pie responds, "I think it's time to run!!"
     So then we run down a tunnel, and the boulder chases us, but we get to the end of the tunnel and jump through a sheet of water.  We jump through a waterfall, only to find that it's Niagara Falls.  The Maid of the Mist (google it) picks us up, and suddenly Pie has rocket boots.  He flies back to the tunnel dressed as Iron Man, retrieves the giant diamond ring, and flies back to me.  His face mask disappears and he reveals that the ring is sensitive to light, so it shrinks to normal size.  He takes my hand, puts the ring on my finger, and says, "Will you marry me?"
     Then fireworks will start going off all over the place, and it's suddenly night time so they're all over the sky.  And the people on the skip start cheering and we have a huge party.

     I had to ask, at this point...  "So what do I say?"

     "You say FUCK YEAH!"


     Never in the history of the world has anyone been this excited about a potential engagement.

My ideal engagement

     So here's the build up to this epic engagement that must happen...  I'm currently in Arizona with Pie over the Christmas break, and we've gone to his church the past 2 Sundays I've been here.  Last Sunday, he introduced me to all his friends.  One girl he went to high school with was there (the apparent daughter of the pastor).  I had gone outside to make a phone call, so all this is secondhand to me.
     She asked him how long we had been dating, and he answered, "Almost a year, in January."  So then she asked if he was going to marry me.
     Pie = 0____0
     He answers and says he doesn't know yet, and she's like, "A year is a loooong time!"  She reveals that she's been dating her boyfriend for a year.  Pie asks her if he's going to propose soon.  The girl crosses her fingers and is like, "I hope so!"

     So earlier today, the pastor announces that she was, indeed, proposed to.  About an hour after she told Pie what she did.  So I turn to Pie and I tell him, "If you decide that I'm the one and you ever propose, it better be fucking magical.  There better be all kinds of birds and a band and skydiving.  In fact, there should also be treasure finding, and you have to sword fight pirates for my hand in marriage."
     He just smiles and says, "I knew there was a reason I liked you."

     Because COME ON.  I don't want a sissy little engagement over a holiday with family gathered close.  I want something I'm going to remember the rest of my days!  Something I can tell my grandchildren and make their eyes light up.
     "Granpa fought PIRATES for you?" they'll say in their cute little naive and believing voices.  It won't even be a question, they just want to hear the story again.
     FUCK YEAH HE DID.  And he was dressed as a jedi.  Then Darkness from Legend appeared in a burst of fire, and your Granpa kicked him in his Tim Curry face, broke off his horns, stabbed him through the chest with his own horns, and then we rode away on tigers.

     My standards are now set ridiculously high and I refuse to lower them beneath the bar which requires me to suspend reality.  Pie better start practicing his sword fighting techniques right now.

I has a stocking

     I must admit, I was a little nervous about having Christmas with Pie's family.  For one, I didn't know if there were any family taboos about having "outsiders" in on the celebration...  And also, I figured I'd be a fifth wheel, with no presents to unwrap.  Basically a glorified seat warmer, space waster, creepy interloper watching everyone from the shadows.

     Instead, I was treated to the most wonderful sight...  A stocking of my own.

     I haven't had a stocking since I was five.

     It was just about the highlight of the day.  I mean, after the coffee was in me and I was alert, I was absolutely giddy.  And then came the gifts...

     In no particular order, here are the lovely things I received:
       A Sword Kirby which Pie won for me from a claw machine
       Skull Candy "Pipe" speakers for iPod/iPhone, also from Pie
       A Hufflepuff scarf all the way from the Wizarding World of Harry Potter
       A pink Pygmy Puff
       AWESOME airbrushed shirt, says "Coyote Nerdy" in purple+pink
       Beautiful clothes
       Santa, fuzzy purple, and fuzzy pink socks
       Brown sugar vanilla body lotion
       M&Ms in an oversized tube!
       Some assorted bath thingies
       *(two boxes I can't open until Monday, goddammit argh)

     I can't thank his family enough for the warm welcome they gave me, and for the absolutely AWESOME gifts they gave me!!  I don't remember what Pie got, because he got so much...  I do know there were lots of clothes.  Wow, I'm a horrible person.

     Pie's Sister finally got her gift from me, which has been finished for a while now.  I was bouncing in my seat when I saw her pick up the gift bag...  BACKSTORY:  She fell in love with the hat I knit for Pie because it's a replica of Hermione's hat (pattern link).  She kept stealing it from him (funny, because he initially stole it from me), so I promised to make her one.  I made one in a lavender yarn called Leche.  I also added a bonus extra she didn't know about, a pair of matching fingerless gloves in the same yarn with the same lace+eyelet pattern (pattern link).  So when she pulled out the hat, she thought that was all there was in the bag.  I told her to dig deeper.  She LOVED them, yay!

     We had a breakfast of Cinnabon fresh from the oven.  I fell asleep on the couch while watching a Disney parade of some sort on the television, cuddling all my stuff around me.  There are photos.  Pie sent them to BFF.  BFF said, "Awwws."
     Then the annual marathon of A Christmas Story, which needs to be a tradition in every household or else the terrorists win.

     Pie's Sister got a Cotton Candy machine, which makes it from hard candies, so we drove out and found an open gas station selling jolly ranchers and other stuff.  Grape jolly rancher cotton candy may be the best thing on the planet since the dawn of time.  I'm pretty sure it beats the internet, that's for sure.  But not pie.  Okay, it's the second best thing.  Pie is sill number one.

     Also, I learned the cutest damn thing...  When he was 3, Pie asked for a baby sister with a pink bow in her hair because he read it in a book.  Isn't that freaking adorable?  I wanted to squeeze his fuzzy face.

     Ya know, I'm going to miss these days when they're gone.  These absolutely relaxing, boring days where I don't have to do a damn thing but decide whether I want to eat now or later.  No personal issues to worry about, no family/friend drama... just a lot of nothing to do and a whole day for it.  Spring semester starts up January 19th, and I'm registered for a full time schedule from Hell totaling 6 classes.  Updates will be VERY sporadic at that point.  If they happen at all.  This is hoping I manage to get a weekend job, too.  I guess I'm trying to kill myself.

     So on this peaceful night, with my treasures and lovelies surrounding me on the headboard in the guest room, I can only wish everyone a Merry Christmas.  Hope you all spent it with the ones you love, with friends and family, or perhaps the family you choose.

     Here's how I imagine I looked on the couch this morning, though I probably looked less adorable and more sprawly-flailing-all-over-taking-up-all-the-space-and-ruining-Christmas:

Self-Stalking

So here's something I found out you can do, by complete accident...  I am now my own creepy self-stalker.  In attempting to follow a blog, it seems I went completely retarded for a few moments and clicked my own follow button.  And accepted it.  I think it's the left-over high from eating too much pie combined with Tylenol PM.

So there I am...  In my own Followers section...  It created a creepy self-stalker image in my head which I couldn't go to sleep without recreating in Sketchbook.  Ever notice how creepy the glare from a computer screen is when it lights up your glasses, and then you smile?  Just try it.  Enjoy this (probably rare) double post day.

You know, I could un-follow myself, I guess...  But not only am I too lazy, I want evidence provided for this image.

Apple Pie on Christmas Eve

Today was pretty ordinary.  I spent most of the day watching a show called Bones with Boyfriend and his sister.  I got to see David Boreanaz's testicles when he pulled his slacks too tight while impersonating Michael Jackson.  We had to rewind it to make sure I had really seen that, thus proving to Boyfriend and Boyfriend's Sister that I wasn't losing my mind.

Then we painted Boyfriend's Father's garage, but just one wall.  There were five of us so it went by very fast.

Then more Bones.  Then a Christmas service at their church.  Which was nice, but I'm absolutely sick of churches so I feel a little lackluster about attending any service anywhere.

THEN PIE!  We went out for pie and that totally made my night.  While waiting for a seat, a lady dropped a wrapped-up Christmas gift and it turned out to be wine... and it busted and poured out all over the floor...  I felt bad, but there was a pleasant wine smell when they walked away.

I love pie.  I'm pretty sure I would take a slice of pie from a stranger, because pie is always good, and even creepy strangers can't ruin pie.  It's too pure.  They wouldn't be able to put anything bad into it, the purity of the pie itself would reject it.  I even nicknamed Boyfriend "Pie."  That's how much I love Pie.  Well, his name rhymes with pie, too, so that may have also been a reason... and I made him a lot of miniature pies last Christmas when we were just friends... but I'm pretty sure it's because I love pie.

A relaxing, totally boring day.  Sorry, no adventures to report today.  Here's a picture of what I'm sure I looked like today at the restaurant when I got my pie.  Who DOESN'T radiate light when presented a slice of apple pie?  A Nazi, that's who.  Anyone who hates apple pie is a Nazi.

FIRST LOL

Well...  I'm here.  I'm not sure what I'd be doing when I got here... but I came anyway.


I'm pretty much an extraordinary girl living a very boring and ordinary existence. I have an awesome dog who keeps me company and makes my life less lame. My boyfriend is a sexy nerd who looks rather dashing in the hat I knit for him. I do crafty artsy stuff and whine a lot, because the world always ends when I spill milk. I'm happy when I'm cooking, and I love to make people feel loved. So people keep me around anyway.


I imagine I'll be filling this place with lots of rants, ramblings, and art crap on occasion.  Hopefully it will be amusing.


Here's a picture of my best friend and I being very late to jump on the Caramelldansen meme bandwagon.  I apparently absolutely had to draw and color this damn thing before I could post my first post, and I positively could not wait until tomorrow to do any of this so it's now 1am.  I blame you, Internet.